A couple months ago, my niece posted on her Facebook wall that the person in front of her had paid for her lunch. It surprised her and of course lifted her mood.
I have made many kind gestures over the years, but I had never bought lunch for a total stranger. Shortly after my niece's experience, I had my opportunity. As I pulled up to the drive through window, I asked to pay for the lunch of the fellow behind me. That brought a big smile to the attendant. It brought a look of surprise to my husband's face (since we had just ordered from the value menu because we were cash weary). As we drove away, I explained my reasoning. I must say, the feeling I got stayed with me and was well worth the few extra dollars I spent.
I have been on a mission since then to find a way to display intentional kindness on a frequent basis. My hope is that someday, it will just be ingrained...second nature. Most of the time it is just taking the time to greet a stranger, hold a door, or offer a hand with a bag of groceries. Sometimes it is a compliment. A word of reassurance to a struggling parent (in place of the easier judmental behavior) is most often a welcome change for him or her. I recently bought a gift card to send anonymously to an elderly woman who mentioned in passing one day, that coming to the post office is not fun, because it only results in bills, nothing more. When I was out perusing garage sales in Wabasha on May Day, I presented a little boy running a Kool-Aid stand a treat filled May Basket. He was pretty pumped that I bought Kool-Aid AND gave him a treat. I will likely never see this boy again, but I will remember his joyful excitement and smile forever. Something as simple as cutting my hair for Locks of Love brings a euphoria, as well as an important gift to someone I'll never know.
Sometimes the gestures are for family or friends or neighbors, just something simple and unexpected, but the feeling for both the giver and reciever is far from simple! It amazes me how grateful people are when you take a few minutes to drop off an unexpected treat or "treasure perfectly suited to them," even when said treasure was purchased second hand or something you no longer have a use for. Other times it is just a bit of human compassion between two strangers, so that when we move along our daily path, we have brought the world a bit closer together.
I did not write this today to bring attention to what I've done, but rather, to invite my readers to also partake in this rewarding actvity. I attended a presentation once in which it was explained that the euphoria you get from giving without the expectation of a return gesture is comparable to a "runner's high." Since you won't find me running in a marathon any time soon, I'll just keep up with the random acts of kindness to capture my highs.
If you aren't already doing this (I know some of you are), I hope you'll join me. Perhaps our conjoined efforts will make our little corners of the world kinder & gentler. Please feel free to leave a comment on something you've done or any ideas you have or have heard of that are inexpensive ways to reach out and make a difference in someone else's day!
It truly is better to give than receive!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wallowing In Self Pity---No More
I haven't written much lately. Sometimes even reading is hard to keep up with. Those who follow my blog regularly, probably realize my last 18 months have been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride. Unlike a rollercoaster, however, the downhill ride seems to be steeper than the uphill pull, and even though the ups have been a little more frequent lately, I sometimes let the downs take over. Hang on for this ride--the story is a little longer than usual, but hopefully you will find glimmers of hope in what I share today.
The ups, in no particular order: I have been working hard to manage my depression amidst the dizziness and bumps of this ride. I have restarted my ADD medicine to regain some sort of organization and focus in my daily tasks, as well as the larger tasks that have been hovering over me for a very long time. I am happy to report it is working. Additionally, I have pretty much recovered from my bum shoulder episode, and my back is holding together fairly well, though the headaches and neck are still troubling me. I have started to lose some of the weight that sneaked back on over the holidays and am gearing up for a healthier year ahead. I think I've finally completed grieving, for the most part, the inequities of my former job. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job (but need to find something additional to be fulltime, though I probably have a back-up plan through autumn). I have been able to spend more time with family. I have also spent time working on my family history and and I am starting a blog on that topic, as well as mentoring my nephew in his paternal family history. I am working on planting a small garden. In addition to the most typical root vegetables, plants, and leafy greens, I will be trying my hand at some berries (all sorts), plus a few plum trees. Wish me luck--I am not known for my green thumb, but I'll have help, and I have gardeners on both sides of me. My daughter has landed a 9 month position with benefits. Her boyfriend has another interview today; I'm crossing my fingers. All of my adult children are living at home right now, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the day and my state of mind, and the balance in my checkbook. :-) My mother-in-law was able to sell her house quickly, and while that wasn't all blessing, as I think it cut into the time of grieving, she is now moved and settling into her apartment. I have only one more week until our annual sisters and adult nieces get-together in Rochester: Woo-Hoo! Spring has been glorious, with perennial plants and flowers popping everywhere, pelicans, loons, and other waterfowl gracing the lake in large numbers, and fresh breezes and fresh perspectives floating through the house.
The downs: I thought I was almost through the wild ride, only to find out my husband's three month follow up after a recent health scare didn't come with the results we had hoped for. I am not going to panic, yet. Instead I am going to ask for prayers and kind thoughts as we face a biopsy next Friday. I am still working on paying off all the medical bills from our combined winter of tests and therapies, along with other large unexpected expenses, and now the first half real estate taxes are looming over our heads in three weeks. Having a drained savings account due to many large expenditures over the last two years, while a drastic cut in both of our incomes, I tend to feel a great weight on my shoulders as we face next week. Yet somehow, I also know all will be okay, it always is. We are still grieving the loss of my father-in-law, and selling the 4+ decade family home brought new emotional challenges to the entire family. We will be interring Richard's ashes two weeks from today in his final resting spot at the Minnesota Veterans Cemetery near Little Falls/Camp Ripley. It will be an emotional time, but also a necessary step in our grieving process. I've felt dragged down before, seemingly to the lowest of low depths, but somehow, I always manage to pull through, so I expect this time will be no different. Again, prayers, kind thoughts, and encouragement are extremely welcome.
I have come to realize over my life journey, often through others I've known up close and personal or through close contacts, many people face great challenges in life. While some people seemingly have greater challenges than most, either in quantity or scope, there are often common factors in their successful journeys. Humor, prayers, emotional, physical, and sometimes financial support from family, friends, and even complete strangers, carry sufferers through some of their toughest challenges. Every day I seem to hear of or know someone who is facing a similar challenge, and many that are facing challenges far beyond anything I've experienced. Some have survived and moved forward to help others, while others are just beginning the wild ride. It keeps my woes in perspective to know that no matter how tough the road gets, someone else has been down this same path, or a journey filled with even more and/or larger potholes. Some recent examples:
A local teenager, friend to my children, was in a car accident April 8th on her way to school. Her car rolled over and was submerged in a pond, with only the very back end still visible to passerby, but she was soon found and pulled from the pond by local heroes, her lifelessness restored by a man who had just learned CPR two weeks earlier. There were some very tense days these last two weeks, two steps forward, one back, but she's been "fighting like a girl" (her mom's words), and is scheduled to transfer out of the ICU today. She still has a long road ahead, with possible twists and turns, but she has had many thousands of visits to her Caring Bridge page, and the prayers and support from family, friends, and strangers alike, are lifting her spirits and holding her family up. A whole community and beyond (friends of friends of friends, etc.) have rallied together, organizing a Facebook prayer page, prayer chains, a fund at two banks, a "Fight Like A Girl" t-shirt sale, and a spaghetti supper. What is especially cool about all this support is that most of the efforts have been spearheaded by youth, a segment of our society more commonly frowned upon than respected. I'll leave that topic alone, for now, because that deserves its own special place of honor. It is amazing how the support grows in this small town, but after all, isn't that what community really means?
I just started following the journey of another local woman recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The twist to her story is that she is a quadripalegic, having been paralyzed in a sledding accident when she was a teen. It seems like some people get the challenges piled on, perservering throughout. There are lessons for all of us in the challenges of others, I think. Her Caring Bridge journal is a well articulated account of the daily struggles she faces, filled with humor, prayerfulness, hope, and humility as she forges ahead on this journey. Her words flow beautifully, allowing the reader to literally be there with her. Again, thousands are visiting her page, offering prayers, hope and encouragement, as she goes forward, and a community that has had several tragedies over the last month, is still raring and ready to march in support for this marvelous woman. Another twist to this story is that her cousin was the passerby that resucitated the teenager pulled from the pond. While each family suffers their own tragedies, they and those whom have been touched by them, are offering up prayers and support for each other.
I was recently emailed a video from my supervisor. I am not technically skilled enough to place this video here (I tried once without success, and am sure I've learned nothing new lately that would help in that skill), so I will share a link. The woman shown is a friend of my supervisor's daughter, and in my supervisor's words: "she is absolutely amazing and one of the kindest, most loving women I've ever met." This Missouri woman, faced with a condition at birth that limited the use of her arms and shoulders, recently had a baby, and is shown in her daily child care routine. I was absolutely amazed at the ingenuity and skills she has developed and the fortitude she displays. Diapering, feeding, and bathing a child with her feet puts any challenges I had as a parent into perspective.
I recently heard part of my my supervisor's own life story, surviving a childhood filled with abuse (all forms), taking what she learned from her experiences, using it to be a better parent and help others who have challenges along the way. I must say, she is one of the most kind, caring, and delightful individuals I have ever met, and I am so glad our paths have crossed. We recently heard her story will be shared in a national woman's magazine, and when it is, I will try to follow up here.
Another woman whom I have encountered in my work has recently been interviewed for an upcoming piece in the St. Paul Pioneer Press as part of the events surrounding the Healing Field, which strives to bring awareness to the plight of child abuse and the ongoing prevention efforts in Minnesota, as well as supporting and praying for healing for survivors. She is another woman filled with tremendous fortitude, and abundance of faith, and a seemingly endless supply of sunshine, overcoming a life filled wih tremendous child abuse, using what she has learned and continues to learn, to help others. Again, when that story comes out, I will try to link to it in my blog.
Somehow, when I learn about or meet people as those above, I am compelled to reach for the strength that I know still lies within, and march forward with purpose. I know the support from others will help that strength grow. None of the people above are looking for pity, just prayers and support, and thus I am reminded to stop wallowing in my own self pity when times are tough and start counting my blessings, of which there are many. As I go through this week, I will remember a favorite quote: "When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
The ups, in no particular order: I have been working hard to manage my depression amidst the dizziness and bumps of this ride. I have restarted my ADD medicine to regain some sort of organization and focus in my daily tasks, as well as the larger tasks that have been hovering over me for a very long time. I am happy to report it is working. Additionally, I have pretty much recovered from my bum shoulder episode, and my back is holding together fairly well, though the headaches and neck are still troubling me. I have started to lose some of the weight that sneaked back on over the holidays and am gearing up for a healthier year ahead. I think I've finally completed grieving, for the most part, the inequities of my former job. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job (but need to find something additional to be fulltime, though I probably have a back-up plan through autumn). I have been able to spend more time with family. I have also spent time working on my family history and and I am starting a blog on that topic, as well as mentoring my nephew in his paternal family history. I am working on planting a small garden. In addition to the most typical root vegetables, plants, and leafy greens, I will be trying my hand at some berries (all sorts), plus a few plum trees. Wish me luck--I am not known for my green thumb, but I'll have help, and I have gardeners on both sides of me. My daughter has landed a 9 month position with benefits. Her boyfriend has another interview today; I'm crossing my fingers. All of my adult children are living at home right now, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the day and my state of mind, and the balance in my checkbook. :-) My mother-in-law was able to sell her house quickly, and while that wasn't all blessing, as I think it cut into the time of grieving, she is now moved and settling into her apartment. I have only one more week until our annual sisters and adult nieces get-together in Rochester: Woo-Hoo! Spring has been glorious, with perennial plants and flowers popping everywhere, pelicans, loons, and other waterfowl gracing the lake in large numbers, and fresh breezes and fresh perspectives floating through the house.
The downs: I thought I was almost through the wild ride, only to find out my husband's three month follow up after a recent health scare didn't come with the results we had hoped for. I am not going to panic, yet. Instead I am going to ask for prayers and kind thoughts as we face a biopsy next Friday. I am still working on paying off all the medical bills from our combined winter of tests and therapies, along with other large unexpected expenses, and now the first half real estate taxes are looming over our heads in three weeks. Having a drained savings account due to many large expenditures over the last two years, while a drastic cut in both of our incomes, I tend to feel a great weight on my shoulders as we face next week. Yet somehow, I also know all will be okay, it always is. We are still grieving the loss of my father-in-law, and selling the 4+ decade family home brought new emotional challenges to the entire family. We will be interring Richard's ashes two weeks from today in his final resting spot at the Minnesota Veterans Cemetery near Little Falls/Camp Ripley. It will be an emotional time, but also a necessary step in our grieving process. I've felt dragged down before, seemingly to the lowest of low depths, but somehow, I always manage to pull through, so I expect this time will be no different. Again, prayers, kind thoughts, and encouragement are extremely welcome.
I have come to realize over my life journey, often through others I've known up close and personal or through close contacts, many people face great challenges in life. While some people seemingly have greater challenges than most, either in quantity or scope, there are often common factors in their successful journeys. Humor, prayers, emotional, physical, and sometimes financial support from family, friends, and even complete strangers, carry sufferers through some of their toughest challenges. Every day I seem to hear of or know someone who is facing a similar challenge, and many that are facing challenges far beyond anything I've experienced. Some have survived and moved forward to help others, while others are just beginning the wild ride. It keeps my woes in perspective to know that no matter how tough the road gets, someone else has been down this same path, or a journey filled with even more and/or larger potholes. Some recent examples:
A local teenager, friend to my children, was in a car accident April 8th on her way to school. Her car rolled over and was submerged in a pond, with only the very back end still visible to passerby, but she was soon found and pulled from the pond by local heroes, her lifelessness restored by a man who had just learned CPR two weeks earlier. There were some very tense days these last two weeks, two steps forward, one back, but she's been "fighting like a girl" (her mom's words), and is scheduled to transfer out of the ICU today. She still has a long road ahead, with possible twists and turns, but she has had many thousands of visits to her Caring Bridge page, and the prayers and support from family, friends, and strangers alike, are lifting her spirits and holding her family up. A whole community and beyond (friends of friends of friends, etc.) have rallied together, organizing a Facebook prayer page, prayer chains, a fund at two banks, a "Fight Like A Girl" t-shirt sale, and a spaghetti supper. What is especially cool about all this support is that most of the efforts have been spearheaded by youth, a segment of our society more commonly frowned upon than respected. I'll leave that topic alone, for now, because that deserves its own special place of honor. It is amazing how the support grows in this small town, but after all, isn't that what community really means?
I just started following the journey of another local woman recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The twist to her story is that she is a quadripalegic, having been paralyzed in a sledding accident when she was a teen. It seems like some people get the challenges piled on, perservering throughout. There are lessons for all of us in the challenges of others, I think. Her Caring Bridge journal is a well articulated account of the daily struggles she faces, filled with humor, prayerfulness, hope, and humility as she forges ahead on this journey. Her words flow beautifully, allowing the reader to literally be there with her. Again, thousands are visiting her page, offering prayers, hope and encouragement, as she goes forward, and a community that has had several tragedies over the last month, is still raring and ready to march in support for this marvelous woman. Another twist to this story is that her cousin was the passerby that resucitated the teenager pulled from the pond. While each family suffers their own tragedies, they and those whom have been touched by them, are offering up prayers and support for each other.
I was recently emailed a video from my supervisor. I am not technically skilled enough to place this video here (I tried once without success, and am sure I've learned nothing new lately that would help in that skill), so I will share a link. The woman shown is a friend of my supervisor's daughter, and in my supervisor's words: "she is absolutely amazing and one of the kindest, most loving women I've ever met." This Missouri woman, faced with a condition at birth that limited the use of her arms and shoulders, recently had a baby, and is shown in her daily child care routine. I was absolutely amazed at the ingenuity and skills she has developed and the fortitude she displays. Diapering, feeding, and bathing a child with her feet puts any challenges I had as a parent into perspective.
I recently heard part of my my supervisor's own life story, surviving a childhood filled with abuse (all forms), taking what she learned from her experiences, using it to be a better parent and help others who have challenges along the way. I must say, she is one of the most kind, caring, and delightful individuals I have ever met, and I am so glad our paths have crossed. We recently heard her story will be shared in a national woman's magazine, and when it is, I will try to follow up here.
Another woman whom I have encountered in my work has recently been interviewed for an upcoming piece in the St. Paul Pioneer Press as part of the events surrounding the Healing Field, which strives to bring awareness to the plight of child abuse and the ongoing prevention efforts in Minnesota, as well as supporting and praying for healing for survivors. She is another woman filled with tremendous fortitude, and abundance of faith, and a seemingly endless supply of sunshine, overcoming a life filled wih tremendous child abuse, using what she has learned and continues to learn, to help others. Again, when that story comes out, I will try to link to it in my blog.
Somehow, when I learn about or meet people as those above, I am compelled to reach for the strength that I know still lies within, and march forward with purpose. I know the support from others will help that strength grow. None of the people above are looking for pity, just prayers and support, and thus I am reminded to stop wallowing in my own self pity when times are tough and start counting my blessings, of which there are many. As I go through this week, I will remember a favorite quote: "When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Hello Old Friends...It's Been Awhile
Hello! Gosh it's been awhile. How have you been? I wish I could tell you that my absence from the blogosphere was because I had something very exciting going on in my life, like a trip to an exotic (and warm) destination, but sadly, I've been here all along, waiting out the winter with a gigantic stash of comfort foods. Yup, the only thing that has gone south is my derriere, bogged down with bread pudding, mashed potatoes with butter and gravy, oatmeal-butterscotch cookies, homemade cinnamon rolls...you get the picture.
Along with my butt, life in general has been on the south end for a while, as well. After three months filled with funerals (a young community member, a cousin, my father-in-law, and a family friend, plus a few not as close acquaintances), a few family issues I can't publicly discuss other than to say I was definitely blindsided by them, a health scare for my husband (thankfully, a mass discovered was benign), my own ongoing health issues (migraines, back & neck problems, and now treatment for a rotator cuff issue), a couple extra unemployed adults to feed and house (there are possible job offers pending--TG), and decreased income from job losses/cuts with increased debt from medical bills and major house malfunctions, is it any wonder that depression reared its ugly head in my life? I am now getting that under control and hopefully life will get back on a smooth road once again. The sun is peeking out....whew!!
I guess my resolve to be more consistent in my blogging didn't work out so well, either. Often times, writing is a stress buster for me. Believe me, there were more than a few times that I thought I had an idea worth writing about, only to fizzle out by the time I had a chance. Sometimes I felt the need to write, but much of the need would have been to get negativity off my chest, but who wants to read that? In a similar fashion to not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say, I felt if I had nothing good to write, I wouldn't write anything at all. I am truly wanting to go to blogging and thinking in a positive mind frame, dealing with the negative as it comes, but searching for the good in life.
Bright spots are coming through these days. I can tell spring is around the corner by the increased level of chirping in the trees outside my house. Rather than running to do their business and quickly scampering inside, my dogs have been lingering outside, noses to the ground, as if they can actually smell life under the waist high snow piles and still ice-covered walking paths. This old house (101 years) has been creaking more lately; I imagine it too is starting to thaw from this brutal winter. Believe me, with March knocking on the door, spring could not come soon enough for me. It would be nice if the melting doesn't happen too fast, though, so the flooding is minimized. I worry for all of those who live in areas that may once again be struggling with flooding issues. With my basement actually being inhabited by humans instead of spiders and the occasional mouse, I would hope to not have water problems there, either!
I have been drawn in by the Winter Olympics this year. I love to watch ice dancing and speed skating. The women's and men's half pipes competitions were also spectacular. I imagine the skiing is nerve racking--I wouldn't want to drive in a car as fast as some of those skiers are flying; I can't imagine being on a mountainside racing that fast! I think of all the bumps and falls and how these athletes carry on day after day, compared to my aging body, which can't seem to handle even the smallest falls or bumps. Quite the stamina these athletes have! I have been especially interested in hockey this year, particularly men's hockey. David Backes, a member of the USA men's team (and member of the NHL's St. Louis Blues team) is the son of my husband's cousin. It has been great to see someone from humble roots work tenaciously to achieve personal goals. He is truly an example of a blue collar working class family's hard work and sacrifices to reach for the gold! I was bummed when the first few games were not broadcast on network television (I don't have cable), but was able to catch the games Wednesday and Friday (what an amazing game on Friday). I look forward to Sunday's rematch with Canada. Go team USA!
Time to get up and at 'em. Once again, the weekend will be filled with a myriad of activities, sandwiched between the need to declutter and continue organizing. It's not the North wind you'll be hearing this weekend folks, it's the whirr of my engines as I race to complete the tasks on my never-ending list. It's been said that an idle mind is the devil's playground, so I imagine idle hands must be forced to shovel coals. Happily, I am nowhere near heat, so perhaps this winter is a sign of true paradise. It has been angelically white, if I must say so myself, and my hands would rather be flapping out snow angels than shoveling coals any day!
Have a beautiful weekend and look out for signs of spring--it shouldn't be long now!
Along with my butt, life in general has been on the south end for a while, as well. After three months filled with funerals (a young community member, a cousin, my father-in-law, and a family friend, plus a few not as close acquaintances), a few family issues I can't publicly discuss other than to say I was definitely blindsided by them, a health scare for my husband (thankfully, a mass discovered was benign), my own ongoing health issues (migraines, back & neck problems, and now treatment for a rotator cuff issue), a couple extra unemployed adults to feed and house (there are possible job offers pending--TG), and decreased income from job losses/cuts with increased debt from medical bills and major house malfunctions, is it any wonder that depression reared its ugly head in my life? I am now getting that under control and hopefully life will get back on a smooth road once again. The sun is peeking out....whew!!
I guess my resolve to be more consistent in my blogging didn't work out so well, either. Often times, writing is a stress buster for me. Believe me, there were more than a few times that I thought I had an idea worth writing about, only to fizzle out by the time I had a chance. Sometimes I felt the need to write, but much of the need would have been to get negativity off my chest, but who wants to read that? In a similar fashion to not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say, I felt if I had nothing good to write, I wouldn't write anything at all. I am truly wanting to go to blogging and thinking in a positive mind frame, dealing with the negative as it comes, but searching for the good in life.
Bright spots are coming through these days. I can tell spring is around the corner by the increased level of chirping in the trees outside my house. Rather than running to do their business and quickly scampering inside, my dogs have been lingering outside, noses to the ground, as if they can actually smell life under the waist high snow piles and still ice-covered walking paths. This old house (101 years) has been creaking more lately; I imagine it too is starting to thaw from this brutal winter. Believe me, with March knocking on the door, spring could not come soon enough for me. It would be nice if the melting doesn't happen too fast, though, so the flooding is minimized. I worry for all of those who live in areas that may once again be struggling with flooding issues. With my basement actually being inhabited by humans instead of spiders and the occasional mouse, I would hope to not have water problems there, either!
I have been drawn in by the Winter Olympics this year. I love to watch ice dancing and speed skating. The women's and men's half pipes competitions were also spectacular. I imagine the skiing is nerve racking--I wouldn't want to drive in a car as fast as some of those skiers are flying; I can't imagine being on a mountainside racing that fast! I think of all the bumps and falls and how these athletes carry on day after day, compared to my aging body, which can't seem to handle even the smallest falls or bumps. Quite the stamina these athletes have! I have been especially interested in hockey this year, particularly men's hockey. David Backes, a member of the USA men's team (and member of the NHL's St. Louis Blues team) is the son of my husband's cousin. It has been great to see someone from humble roots work tenaciously to achieve personal goals. He is truly an example of a blue collar working class family's hard work and sacrifices to reach for the gold! I was bummed when the first few games were not broadcast on network television (I don't have cable), but was able to catch the games Wednesday and Friday (what an amazing game on Friday). I look forward to Sunday's rematch with Canada. Go team USA!
Time to get up and at 'em. Once again, the weekend will be filled with a myriad of activities, sandwiched between the need to declutter and continue organizing. It's not the North wind you'll be hearing this weekend folks, it's the whirr of my engines as I race to complete the tasks on my never-ending list. It's been said that an idle mind is the devil's playground, so I imagine idle hands must be forced to shovel coals. Happily, I am nowhere near heat, so perhaps this winter is a sign of true paradise. It has been angelically white, if I must say so myself, and my hands would rather be flapping out snow angels than shoveling coals any day!
Have a beautiful weekend and look out for signs of spring--it shouldn't be long now!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Little Things
Sometimes it's the little things that make my day. Such was the case yesterday, and I woke this morning, blanketed in warm thoughts. It started with something as simple as reading one of my favorite blogs, Farside of Fifty's Forgotten Old Photos.
As some of my readers may already be aware, I love to immerse myself in family history. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be my own. For some people, genealogy is getting the most names in a family tree. For me, it is about finding the ways in which people are interconnected and learning about their lives. What are their stories? When I hit the jackpot, I can be giddy for days.
Such is the case with Della. Rather than relay the whole story, I invite you to check out the progress of events from photo publishing to reunification of photo with a family member. Farside and I have married our interests a couple times on her Forgotten Old Photos blog. She brings forth the photos, with as much information as the picture relays, and if there is enough information to do a search, I go digging through ancestry.com records to try to find a history on the subject and his/her family. We've had some successes in searching and she has made connection with some families(though this will be the first photo to be returned, I believe), which brings us both great excitement! Additionally, there are other regular visitors to her blog that supply their expertise on clothing styles, photo types, etc.
Soon, Della's photo will be on its way to her daughter, Virginia, a woman in her late 80s, whom has pretty much lived in the same location all her life, as did her mother. Della's photo, however, has traveled from Illinois to South Dakota to northern Minnesota. The final trip back to Illinois should be a sweet one!
As some of my readers may already be aware, I love to immerse myself in family history. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be my own. For some people, genealogy is getting the most names in a family tree. For me, it is about finding the ways in which people are interconnected and learning about their lives. What are their stories? When I hit the jackpot, I can be giddy for days.
Such is the case with Della. Rather than relay the whole story, I invite you to check out the progress of events from photo publishing to reunification of photo with a family member. Farside and I have married our interests a couple times on her Forgotten Old Photos blog. She brings forth the photos, with as much information as the picture relays, and if there is enough information to do a search, I go digging through ancestry.com records to try to find a history on the subject and his/her family. We've had some successes in searching and she has made connection with some families(though this will be the first photo to be returned, I believe), which brings us both great excitement! Additionally, there are other regular visitors to her blog that supply their expertise on clothing styles, photo types, etc.
Soon, Della's photo will be on its way to her daughter, Virginia, a woman in her late 80s, whom has pretty much lived in the same location all her life, as did her mother. Della's photo, however, has traveled from Illinois to South Dakota to northern Minnesota. The final trip back to Illinois should be a sweet one!
Friday, January 1, 2010
2009: Out On A Sad Note
Our family didn't really ring in the new year as much as we sent out the old year on a sad note. In the bitter winds of December 31st, we stood at attention and listened to the song of the distant lone bugler. The finality of those solemn notes is felt ever more deeply when they are played in honor of one you love. As Taps hauntingly floated through the air, a volcano of emotions erupted: thankfulness and respect for a life well lived and services rendered to God, country, and family; honor for knowing and being part of that life; sadness in knowing his physical presence is gone, yet happiness in knowing a new life with God, absent of pain and suffering, was his eternal gift.
My father-in-law passed away peacefully Tuesday morning, after a valiant struggle with health issues. We were very fortunate to have a final family holiday celebration on Sunday, in which he was very alert and involved, refusing to rest for a single moment, while his wife, children, and grandchildren surrounded him with love. He enjoyed his favorite foods, he joked around a bit, and he shared his gratitude for the day. He rested all day Monday, drifting in and out of sleep, then slowly slipped into God's hands as Tuesday morning broke. We knew his health was failing, but most of us just didn't expect him to pass this week, and didn't quite expect Sunday to be the final goodbye. His final wish was the Sunday gathering, and with that fulfilled, he was ready to be called to Heaven. He was a gentle loving man--a wonderful husband, a dedicated father, a super father-in-law, a doting grandpa, and a supportive brother. We will miss him greatly, but are relieved that he is no longer suffering.
We offered our final goodbyes yesterday at the church, surrounded by a multitude of extended family members, friends, community members, and the Honor Guard of the Richmond American Legion Post, of which he was a past commander for two years. He was a Veteran of the Korean War, serving as a MP in the U.S. Army from 1949-1953. He never talked much of his service time, but his family always knew he was honored to serve. He loved this country deeply and the flag presented to my mother-in-law at services yesterday is already prominently displayed in their home.
As I finish this entry, I would like to share with you the words I wrote in his memory Wednesday morning. My father-in-law was an avid gardener, in soil and in life, and thoughts of him came together in this piece.
Richard The Gardener
The gardener’s tools are set aside,
His hands no longer toil,
Winter’s snow has mounded upon
The fertile garden soil.
Perhaps you’ve tasted produce
From his abundant yield,
But his greatest crop ever
Came not from earthen field.
No, t’was the living seeds he planted,
Starting at his birth,
The relationships he nurtured,
As he walked upon this earth.
Life’s garden rows aren’t always neat,
Weeds pop up all over the place,
But Richard, the gardener, tackled pesky weeds
With dignity and grace.
Whether you entered his garden plot,
As family or as friend,
His love for you was rooted there,
Until the very end.
He came here as a plant from God,
The finest of seeds from ’27,
Now his time of growth here is done,
He’s been harvested and back in Heaven.
As you survey plants in your own garden,
Think of Richard and wear a big smile,
For as sure as the sun rises and sets,
He’s with God and they’re here all the while.
In Loving Memory ♥ Richard Nicholas Thomes ♥ 3-27-1927 to 12-29-2009
Our family didn't really ring in the new year as much as we sent out the old year on a sad note. In the bitter winds of December 31st, we stood at attention and listened to the song of the distant lone bugler. The finality of those solemn notes is felt ever more deeply when they are played in honor of one you love. As Taps hauntingly floated through the air, a volcano of emotions erupted: thankfulness and respect for a life well lived and services rendered to God, country, and family; honor for knowing and being part of that life; sadness in knowing his physical presence is gone, yet happiness in knowing a new life with God, absent of pain and suffering, was his eternal gift.
My father-in-law passed away peacefully Tuesday morning, after a valiant struggle with health issues. We were very fortunate to have a final family holiday celebration on Sunday, in which he was very alert and involved, refusing to rest for a single moment, while his wife, children, and grandchildren surrounded him with love. He enjoyed his favorite foods, he joked around a bit, and he shared his gratitude for the day. He rested all day Monday, drifting in and out of sleep, then slowly slipped into God's hands as Tuesday morning broke. We knew his health was failing, but most of us just didn't expect him to pass this week, and didn't quite expect Sunday to be the final goodbye. His final wish was the Sunday gathering, and with that fulfilled, he was ready to be called to Heaven. He was a gentle loving man--a wonderful husband, a dedicated father, a super father-in-law, a doting grandpa, and a supportive brother. We will miss him greatly, but are relieved that he is no longer suffering.
We offered our final goodbyes yesterday at the church, surrounded by a multitude of extended family members, friends, community members, and the Honor Guard of the Richmond American Legion Post, of which he was a past commander for two years. He was a Veteran of the Korean War, serving as a MP in the U.S. Army from 1949-1953. He never talked much of his service time, but his family always knew he was honored to serve. He loved this country deeply and the flag presented to my mother-in-law at services yesterday is already prominently displayed in their home.
As I finish this entry, I would like to share with you the words I wrote in his memory Wednesday morning. My father-in-law was an avid gardener, in soil and in life, and thoughts of him came together in this piece.
Richard The Gardener
The gardener’s tools are set aside,
His hands no longer toil,
Winter’s snow has mounded upon
The fertile garden soil.
Perhaps you’ve tasted produce
From his abundant yield,
But his greatest crop ever
Came not from earthen field.
No, t’was the living seeds he planted,
Starting at his birth,
The relationships he nurtured,
As he walked upon this earth.
Life’s garden rows aren’t always neat,
Weeds pop up all over the place,
But Richard, the gardener, tackled pesky weeds
With dignity and grace.
Whether you entered his garden plot,
As family or as friend,
His love for you was rooted there,
Until the very end.
He came here as a plant from God,
The finest of seeds from ’27,
Now his time of growth here is done,
He’s been harvested and back in Heaven.
As you survey plants in your own garden,
Think of Richard and wear a big smile,
For as sure as the sun rises and sets,
He’s with God and they’re here all the while.
In Loving Memory ♥ Richard Nicholas Thomes ♥ 3-27-1927 to 12-29-2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING ELDERLY?
The definition of elderly, according to the online Merriam Webster dictionary, is rather old, especially past middle age, or old fashioned; it is defined further as relating to, or characteristic of later life or elderly persons.
So, how do you define someone who may fit that description if you numbered their years, yet you have a hard time defining as elderly, due to the negative connotations the word often holds? I am not sure where the negative spin comes from, but many people get beyond a certain age (it is different for everyone) and they dread hearing the word 'old' in reference to themselves. Perhaps it is because the word old is often linked to things that have served their useful purpose or gone bad (old car, old shoes, old food, old house, etc.).
People of any age never outgrow their usefulnesses, while in fact, their years of living often add to their value. If the wisdom that comes with aging could be converted to money, we'd never long for anything. Even without the conversion factor, the rich blessings granted to those surrounded by the wisdom of elders is irreplaceable. Yet, the negativity factor of the word 'old' or 'elderly' sometimes sticks, especially to those of us approaching or past middle age. To make matters worse, the youthfulness of one's mind and soul are often overlooked when trapped in an aging body.
It seems all people of certain eras are lumped together, as people that will all enjoy the same activities, be in the same state of health, or have the same thoughts on matters of the mind. In my experience, this is generally not the case. In conversations with my sisters this week, I was reminded of the word elderly being used in a way that offended my dear Mother.
One of my sisters took my mother Christmas shopping this past week--Tuesday, to be exact. The weather in their area, while a little messy, was nothing like the southern part of the state. At the mention of the shopping trip in our Facebook banter, the following conversation ensues:
Sister # 1:Just got home from St. Cloud--out Christmas Shopping with Mom :) The wind is really blowin'! Not too much snow yet, but expecting more...
Sister#2:Well, glad you made it home without injury this year :)
Sister #3:Did you learn last year's lesson and get home a little earlier this year? LOL!
Sister #4:Mom's OK, they didn't stop at my house for a beer before going home, so no slippsy down my front stoop "while out late night holiday shopping" this holiday season! ;)
Sister #1: Rest assured, I held onto Mom even tighter this year! And we giggled as we walked arm in arm in the blowing snow--recalling last year's episode. Who says my Mom is elderly? She certainly doesn't believe it and neither do I!! I love her youthful spirit!Got her home by news time--no bumps or bruises and lots of shopping accomplished!
Sister #3:Our mom is a trooper--you would think all those kids, she'd be worn down, but instead, it seems to have kept her young. We are so lucky to have her!!!
Obviously, by the above conversation, there is more to this story. Here's what happended last year:
My mom and my sister (#1) went out Christmas shopping in St. Cloud. (There may have been another sister there as well, but I can't recall that detail, as I wasn't there.) They stopped off at a another sister's (#4) house for refreshments. I truly don't know if it was beer they had (as sister #4 suggests in the conversation above), but it is highly possible, as my brother-in-law is a brewer, and would rarely be without a growler on hand. On the way out of my sister's house, my mom slipped on the ice and injured her leg. I think the time was somewhere right between 'news time' and midnight.
Once home, there were some concerns as to the seriousness of the injury. Fearing complications due to my mom's diabetes, my sister called the insurance company's 24 hour help line for advice. The first thing out of the nurse's mouth: "Why in the world would you have an elderly woman out at this time of night?"
I'm fairly certain my mom's jaw dropped. I'm guessing she was too polite to say it to the nurse, but she likely said it loud and clear, later: "Hey! Who are you calling elderly?" I know she was offended by the remark, or at least flabbergasted. I assume the thought of being elderly has rarely crossed her mind. She often stays up quite late at night, so being out and about is not a stretch in the least. We did joke about it a bit at Christmas, as my Mom spent the evening with her leg up in the air, unable to participate in the meal preparation, etc. I think she about went stir crazy. Oh, she tried to get up and participate, but she had 50+ other people in the house holding her down, figuratively speaking, of course! I think being injured is about the only way to keep my mom down.
It is hard for me to think of Mom as elderly or old, even though at 77, she is past middle age. She just doesn't act her age! During all those times we tell our children to "Please act your age," I am sure we never stop to think about whether someday we will stop acting ours! I hope, like my mother, that I will always be young at heart.
QUOTES ON AGING
"Old age is 15 years older than I am." Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Jack Benny
"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." Maurice Chevalier" It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts." Adlai Stevenson
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." Unknown
"You don't stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing." Unknown
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. " Billie Burke
So, how do you define someone who may fit that description if you numbered their years, yet you have a hard time defining as elderly, due to the negative connotations the word often holds? I am not sure where the negative spin comes from, but many people get beyond a certain age (it is different for everyone) and they dread hearing the word 'old' in reference to themselves. Perhaps it is because the word old is often linked to things that have served their useful purpose or gone bad (old car, old shoes, old food, old house, etc.).
People of any age never outgrow their usefulnesses, while in fact, their years of living often add to their value. If the wisdom that comes with aging could be converted to money, we'd never long for anything. Even without the conversion factor, the rich blessings granted to those surrounded by the wisdom of elders is irreplaceable. Yet, the negativity factor of the word 'old' or 'elderly' sometimes sticks, especially to those of us approaching or past middle age. To make matters worse, the youthfulness of one's mind and soul are often overlooked when trapped in an aging body.
It seems all people of certain eras are lumped together, as people that will all enjoy the same activities, be in the same state of health, or have the same thoughts on matters of the mind. In my experience, this is generally not the case. In conversations with my sisters this week, I was reminded of the word elderly being used in a way that offended my dear Mother.
One of my sisters took my mother Christmas shopping this past week--Tuesday, to be exact. The weather in their area, while a little messy, was nothing like the southern part of the state. At the mention of the shopping trip in our Facebook banter, the following conversation ensues:
Sister # 1:Just got home from St. Cloud--out Christmas Shopping with Mom :) The wind is really blowin'! Not too much snow yet, but expecting more...
Sister#2:Well, glad you made it home without injury this year :)
Sister #3:Did you learn last year's lesson and get home a little earlier this year? LOL!
Sister #4:Mom's OK, they didn't stop at my house for a beer before going home, so no slippsy down my front stoop "while out late night holiday shopping" this holiday season! ;)
Sister #1: Rest assured, I held onto Mom even tighter this year! And we giggled as we walked arm in arm in the blowing snow--recalling last year's episode. Who says my Mom is elderly? She certainly doesn't believe it and neither do I!! I love her youthful spirit!Got her home by news time--no bumps or bruises and lots of shopping accomplished!
Sister #3:Our mom is a trooper--you would think all those kids, she'd be worn down, but instead, it seems to have kept her young. We are so lucky to have her!!!
Obviously, by the above conversation, there is more to this story. Here's what happended last year:
My mom and my sister (#1) went out Christmas shopping in St. Cloud. (There may have been another sister there as well, but I can't recall that detail, as I wasn't there.) They stopped off at a another sister's (#4) house for refreshments. I truly don't know if it was beer they had (as sister #4 suggests in the conversation above), but it is highly possible, as my brother-in-law is a brewer, and would rarely be without a growler on hand. On the way out of my sister's house, my mom slipped on the ice and injured her leg. I think the time was somewhere right between 'news time' and midnight.
Once home, there were some concerns as to the seriousness of the injury. Fearing complications due to my mom's diabetes, my sister called the insurance company's 24 hour help line for advice. The first thing out of the nurse's mouth: "Why in the world would you have an elderly woman out at this time of night?"
I'm fairly certain my mom's jaw dropped. I'm guessing she was too polite to say it to the nurse, but she likely said it loud and clear, later: "Hey! Who are you calling elderly?" I know she was offended by the remark, or at least flabbergasted. I assume the thought of being elderly has rarely crossed her mind. She often stays up quite late at night, so being out and about is not a stretch in the least. We did joke about it a bit at Christmas, as my Mom spent the evening with her leg up in the air, unable to participate in the meal preparation, etc. I think she about went stir crazy. Oh, she tried to get up and participate, but she had 50+ other people in the house holding her down, figuratively speaking, of course! I think being injured is about the only way to keep my mom down.
It is hard for me to think of Mom as elderly or old, even though at 77, she is past middle age. She just doesn't act her age! During all those times we tell our children to "Please act your age," I am sure we never stop to think about whether someday we will stop acting ours! I hope, like my mother, that I will always be young at heart.
QUOTES ON AGING
"Old age is 15 years older than I am." Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Jack Benny
"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." Maurice Chevalier" It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts." Adlai Stevenson
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." Unknown
"You don't stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing." Unknown
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. " Billie Burke
UP BEFORE THE BIRDS
I was up before the birds this morning--3:55 a.m. to be exact. I did not awake by choice. I awoke to the smell of smoke and a migraine. No, the house was not on fire...it was my daughter's boyfriend puffing away on his cancer sticks down in the basement, and I was smoking mad. Smoke is one of my common migraine triggers, and I am becoming more sensitive to it as I age, it seems. The smoking boyfriend is a problem I have yet to figure out! Instead of storming downstairs and handling it, I did the following:
3:55 Looked at the clock and groaned---no, more like a low, deep growl.
3:56 Dragged my bum to the kitchen for water, then dug through my purse for pain reliever and migraine prescription. Muttered the whole time about the unfairness. No desire to be assertive before 4 a.m.
4:00 Not one to fall back asleep after I have ambulated more than the minute it takes for routine middle-of-the night bathroom visits, I logged into Facebook. Played the every-four-hour bonus round of Farkle, one round of Word Drop, checked updated status/live news feed of friends and family, left a couple comments, and on to the next thing.
4:15 Played one game of Mahjong Titans on the computer, then wandered back to the internet.
4:30 Read several blogs on Area Voices, and thought about writing my own. Wandered away to my email. Distracted by some news article, I never got to the part where you actually open the emails. Started googling some family history names and places.
5:30 After several interesting reads about topics not even related to my family history, I returned to Area voices, hoping to start a blog topic. Read a few others, left some comments. Remembered that I wanted to check my email.
6:00 Returned to my email, but computer was acting crappy, so I fiddled with a few operations to try to speed it up. Sometime later, after a restart and other fiddling, I ended back up on Area Voices.
7:00 Back to Area Voices, catching up on some blog reading, I link over to one of Farside of Fifty's other blogs, Forgotten Photos. This is one of my favorite blogs, and I see she has left me a challenge, which I get right to work on. I spend about an hour and a half researching someone else's family (I wish it would be this easy to research my own family tree). I have hopefully given her some clues she can use.
9:00 Finish up with the other family's history search and leave my comments. Just as I was about to head to something else, I returned to the other family's search, as I thought of an avenue I had not yet traveled. I spent another 1/2 hour working on that.
9:30 Remember I can sign into Facebook & Farkle another bonus round. Read the scattered updates, which are limited.
9:45 Return to Area Voices to write this blog, with a few distractions in between. And, no I still haven't checked my email!
Aahh, just another day in the life of a middle aged wanderer! Wait, it's only a little after 10 AM. Oh, the day is still young...lots more paths to travel.
*disclaimer* all times approximate & all wanderings may not be listed--remember, I forget where I go sometimes (see previous blog topic).
3:55 Looked at the clock and groaned---no, more like a low, deep growl.
3:56 Dragged my bum to the kitchen for water, then dug through my purse for pain reliever and migraine prescription. Muttered the whole time about the unfairness. No desire to be assertive before 4 a.m.
4:00 Not one to fall back asleep after I have ambulated more than the minute it takes for routine middle-of-the night bathroom visits, I logged into Facebook. Played the every-four-hour bonus round of Farkle, one round of Word Drop, checked updated status/live news feed of friends and family, left a couple comments, and on to the next thing.
4:15 Played one game of Mahjong Titans on the computer, then wandered back to the internet.
4:30 Read several blogs on Area Voices, and thought about writing my own. Wandered away to my email. Distracted by some news article, I never got to the part where you actually open the emails. Started googling some family history names and places.
5:30 After several interesting reads about topics not even related to my family history, I returned to Area voices, hoping to start a blog topic. Read a few others, left some comments. Remembered that I wanted to check my email.
6:00 Returned to my email, but computer was acting crappy, so I fiddled with a few operations to try to speed it up. Sometime later, after a restart and other fiddling, I ended back up on Area Voices.
7:00 Back to Area Voices, catching up on some blog reading, I link over to one of Farside of Fifty's other blogs, Forgotten Photos. This is one of my favorite blogs, and I see she has left me a challenge, which I get right to work on. I spend about an hour and a half researching someone else's family (I wish it would be this easy to research my own family tree). I have hopefully given her some clues she can use.
9:00 Finish up with the other family's history search and leave my comments. Just as I was about to head to something else, I returned to the other family's search, as I thought of an avenue I had not yet traveled. I spent another 1/2 hour working on that.
9:30 Remember I can sign into Facebook & Farkle another bonus round. Read the scattered updates, which are limited.
9:45 Return to Area Voices to write this blog, with a few distractions in between. And, no I still haven't checked my email!
Aahh, just another day in the life of a middle aged wanderer! Wait, it's only a little after 10 AM. Oh, the day is still young...lots more paths to travel.
*disclaimer* all times approximate & all wanderings may not be listed--remember, I forget where I go sometimes (see previous blog topic).
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