I have been racing toward a finish line lately! I am on a path to getting things done as my time quickly slips away. I am at a point where the rubber meets the road. I am two weeks from dropping the checkered flag on this race between two careers: Do I keep my part time job or return to my seasonal employment? I've been running pros and cons through my head for awhile now. The jobs are in a dead heat right now, which is scary.
My supervisors from each of the jobs want to be declared the winner in this race. On the homefront, my husband and I are not in total agreement about what my career future should hold. My husband prefers I not turn away from the higher income (the seasonal job). I'm not sure the income is worth the loss of my sanity, which proved to be the case last fall. I'm fairly certain I want to stay with the part-time job and hold out hope for some added way to supplement that income. If I don't return to the seasonal work, I do have some vacation time I could cash out to help extend my income to "full-time status" for another month. Also, when I weigh out the cost savings of working from home (no travel costs, no "drive-through" meals, less new clothing, etc.), the difference between the two salaries shrinks a little bit. I know I can't work part time forever, but a little longer would be nice. With a little luck, this new job should yield a few more hours by fall. One plus, my friends tell me I look good (as compared to what, I wonder) and seem more relaxed now that I have been away from my seasonal job for a couple months. I will be in a different position if I return to the seasonal job, but I don't believe it will be less stressful. I know that if the economy hadn't tanked last fall, the part-time job would definitely win, hands down, because I'd have a better chance of finding supplemental income. There is a possibiIity that I can work in a lesser capacity at my seasonal job, with those discussions currently underway. In that scenario, my current part-time job would be my primary employment, while I would work 10-20 hours a week at the seasonal employer. I know my supervisor there would be okay with that, but I'm not certain her supervisors would. I hope to have an answer on my proposal soon.
Meanwhile, I have been looking back through the rearview mirror at what I've accomplished over the last two months, and it has definitely not been enough! Then I peer even further back, and realize what a crazy road I've been traveling. I'm trying to catch up from dozens of years of working too much overtime and not keeping up on daily life. I can't possibly catch up this quickly when I've gotten so far behind. I've banished too many things to the overflowing storage room, attic, basement, and garage, as well as some of it not landing in storage at all, and the time has come to make decisions. Most of the difficult decisions come as I am sorting through mounds of career "materials" I've acquired. Depending on my career decision, and if it is for the long haul, will help decide what I keep. Right now, it's sort & ponder. If I am to continue to work on the tuning up and overhauling of this engine (me), and tackle the repairs and organizing of my parking area (home), I feel I should "race" less.
Is it wrong of me to want to regain some semblance of tranquility in my life? I've been in overdrive for a long time! Heck, I live on a lake I have not been able to fully enjoy for the past dozen or so summers. I haven't planted flowers in my flower boxes for quite a few years. I have turned down more "summer fun" invitations than I care to acknowledge. My trip to to the northwest last summer really started this process for me, I believe. It had been the first summer trip I'd taken in a dozen years, and I realized how much I've missed while putting my nose to the grindstone. Of course, with less income, I may not be able to travel anyway, but I could relax and enjoy what is under my nose.
As I look at all of this in the rear view mirror, knowing what I've already passed by, I ponder what is ahead of me on the road. Is the map I'm using outdated? Are there hairpin curves that will catch me off guard and make me wish I'd stayed on the safer, but less scenic route? Am I going to choose to stop and visit the scenery along the way, or am I going to continue barreling forward, full speed ahead to an unknown destination, missing the highlights along the way? I just realized this blog is starting to sound like the lyrics of one of my favorite Bon Jovi cruising songs. I better make sure I have my plastic dashboard Jesus along for the ride on this Lost Highway!
