HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING ELDERLY?

The definition of elderly, according to the online Merriam Webster dictionary, is rather old, especially past middle age, or old fashioned; it is defined further as relating to, or characteristic of later life or elderly persons.

So, how do you define someone who may fit that description if you numbered their years, yet you have a hard time defining as elderly, due to the negative connotations the word often holds? I am not sure where the negative spin comes from, but many people get beyond a certain age (it is different for everyone) and they dread hearing the word 'old' in reference to themselves. Perhaps it is because the word old is often linked to things that have served their useful purpose or gone bad (old car, old shoes, old food, old house, etc.).

People of any age never outgrow their usefulnesses, while in fact, their years of living often add to their value. If the wisdom that comes with aging could be converted to money, we'd never long for anything. Even without the conversion factor, the rich blessings granted to those surrounded by the wisdom of elders is irreplaceable. Yet, the negativity factor of the word 'old' or 'elderly' sometimes sticks, especially to those of us approaching or past middle age. To make matters worse, the youthfulness of one's mind and soul are often overlooked when trapped in an aging body.

It seems all people of certain eras are lumped together, as people that will all enjoy the same activities, be in the same state of health, or have the same thoughts on matters of the mind. In my experience, this is generally not the case. In conversations with my sisters this week, I was reminded of the word elderly being used in a way that offended my dear Mother.

One of my sisters took my mother Christmas shopping this past week--Tuesday, to be exact. The weather in their area, while a little messy, was nothing like the southern part of the state. At the mention of the shopping trip in our Facebook banter, the following conversation ensues:

Sister # 1:Just got home from St. Cloud--out Christmas Shopping with Mom :) The wind is really blowin'! Not too much snow yet, but expecting more...

Sister#2:Well, glad you made it home without injury this year :)

Sister #3:Did you learn last year's lesson and get home a little earlier this year? LOL!

Sister #4:Mom's OK, they didn't stop at my house for a beer before going home, so no slippsy down my front stoop "while out late night holiday shopping" this holiday season! ;)

Sister #1: Rest assured, I held onto Mom even tighter this year! And we giggled as we walked arm in arm in the blowing snow--recalling last year's episode. Who says my Mom is elderly? She certainly doesn't believe it and neither do I!! I love her youthful spirit!Got her home by news time--no bumps or bruises and lots of shopping accomplished!

Sister #3:Our mom is a trooper--you would think all those kids, she'd be worn down, but instead, it seems to have kept her young. We are so lucky to have her!!!

Obviously, by the above conversation, there is more to this story. Here's what happended last year:

My mom and my sister (#1) went out Christmas shopping in St. Cloud. (There may have been another sister there as well, but I can't recall that detail, as I wasn't there.) They stopped off at a another sister's (#4) house for refreshments. I truly don't know if it was beer they had (as sister #4 suggests in the conversation above), but it is highly possible, as my brother-in-law is a brewer, and would rarely be without a growler on hand. On the way out of my sister's house, my mom slipped on the ice and injured her leg. I think the time was somewhere right between 'news time' and midnight.

Once home, there were some concerns as to the seriousness of the injury. Fearing complications due to my mom's diabetes, my sister called the insurance company's 24 hour help line for advice. The first thing out of the nurse's mouth: "Why in the world would you have an elderly woman out at this time of night?"

I'm fairly certain my mom's jaw dropped. I'm guessing she was too polite to say it to the nurse, but she likely said it loud and clear, later: "Hey! Who are you calling elderly?" I know she was offended by the remark, or at least flabbergasted. I assume the thought of being elderly has rarely crossed her mind. She often stays up quite late at night, so being out and about is not a stretch in the least. We did joke about it a bit at Christmas, as my Mom spent the evening with her leg up in the air, unable to participate in the meal preparation, etc. I think she about went stir crazy. Oh, she tried to get up and participate, but she had 50+ other people in the house holding her down, figuratively speaking, of course! I think being injured is about the only way to keep my mom down.

It is hard for me to think of Mom as elderly or old, even though at 77, she is past middle age. She just doesn't act her age! During all those times we tell our children to "Please act your age," I am sure we never stop to think about whether someday we will stop acting ours! I hope, like my mother, that I will always be young at heart.

QUOTES ON AGING

"Old age is 15 years older than I am." Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Jack Benny

"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." Maurice Chevalier" It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts." Adlai Stevenson

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." Unknown

"You don't stop laughing when you grow old; you grow old when you stop laughing." Unknown
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. " Billie Burke