Saturday, January 1, 2011

¡Adiós 2010! ¡Bienvenido 2011!


New Year, new commitments! I have been out of touch in the blogging world for quite some time—since August! OUCH!! As one of my New Year’s resolutions, I am going to try to increase my blogging. I am pretty certain that daily is out of the question, so for now, I will attempt weekly, and I may even go for twice weekly, with more often being a bonus.

To get back on track, since I only blogged a few times last year, I will do a quick year in review. We ended 2009 with the loss of my father-in-law, so the year 2010 started on a sad note. Many changes have come about in the family since then. My mother-in-law sold the 40+ year family home in April, moved into a senior living apartment, which we sensed right away was not her cup of tea, then announced the purchase of a new home in December, which is being prepped for occupation this month. Of course her move from the old home meant my single-over-40 brother-in-law had to find new digs as well. He purchased his first home after ten months in an apartment, and is moving this week as well. More moves happened at our house and my employers’. All of my adult children have now left the nest and are learning first-hand the work and expenses involved to maintain an abode. The main office of one of my jobs relocated, which allowed me to score a new home office set-up, which is still in progress. I am hoping for increased organization and productivity. We also had to make several temporary moves at my other employer, which got old after awhile—hopefully they will have things figured out if I return in spring.


January started off with a health scare for my hubby, which resulted in numerous high tech tests and biopsies. One year later, we are cautiously optimistic, with a rescreen scheduled for April. I also spent a little more time with the doctor, chiropractor, and physical therapist this year. (I’m happy to report that six years after the retirement of my favorite family physician, I have found a doctor I trust once again.) Between all the people working on me, my bum shoulder returned to 95% healthier, my back about 90%, my depression & ADHD issues are almost under control, and less frequent migraines. With a few small dietary changes and slight bit more activity, I lost 20 pounds from May-October 2009, gained back 10 from October 2009-April 2010, and have now lost that 10 and another 12, for a grand total of 32 pounds since May 2009! Yippee—hope it never finds me again! Here’s a toast to great health in 2011.

I am thankful for the continuing health of my parents, which is brought to light when I see some of the struggles others their age face. I spent a great deal of time working with my Mother and my sister on some family legal issues, and other than the headaches of legal jargon, our time together was very rewarding. I hope to be able to spend an equal or greater amount of bonding time with family this year.

Work has been about the same. I split my time between two part time jobs. I love one more than the other, but until there is an opportunity to go full time at this one, I will hang onto the other a while longer. (I actually like the responsibilities at both jobs, but the management decisions at one can make it unbearable at times).

Probably the biggest event of my year was turning fifty, and I found it wasn’t so different from being 49, or 48, or 47, or……19.  The only thing different about 50 is it just seems like I have less time to accomplish everything I want, and I feel like I’ve barely touched the surface!

I am on a mission to become more organized in 2011. I got a little head start in 2010, but the bulk of the projects will hopefully be accomplished in 2011. I look forward to organizing my tubs of photos (and hopefully completing at least a few albums), continuing my efforts to pull the family history together and completing a written narrative, blog more often, de-clutter, do some remodeling, and once again attempt a garden (mine failed miserably last year). I think planning a family reunion is in order, as well, perhaps linked with my father’s upcoming 80th birthday this summer. It will be another busy year, and that is just the way I like it!

Happy New Year to You and Yours! ~Abra

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

JUMP START

This blog needs a jump start. Yes, the battery has died, after several incidences of poor attempts at restarting, it finally died. Perhaps a jump start won't help...maybe it needs a new battery altogether. Anyone know where to get one of those? It may even be possible the engine needs a total overhaul. Anyone know a good blog mechanic?

While I have had several trips I wanted to take down memory lane and country roads, favorite Minnesota destination points, and along the daily washboard avenue that is my life, I just couldn't get the engine started. It would whine a little, even cough and sputter, then nothing. Engines can be so maddening. Sometimes when your engine won't go, it's hard to be a passenger, as well, so I haven't been witness to the revving engines of many other blogs, either.

A couple days of respite from work due to a nasty pink eye infection has given the battery and engine just enough spark to make this feeble attempt to get on the road again. Let's see if that is enough to keep it rolling. Keep watching the road. Perhaps I will be driving along with you more often. Wishing you safe travels.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Random Acts of Kindness

A couple months ago, my niece posted on her Facebook wall that the person in front of her had paid for her lunch. It surprised her and of course lifted her mood.

I have made many kind gestures over the years, but I had never bought lunch for a total stranger. Shortly after my niece's experience, I had my opportunity. As I pulled up to the drive through window, I asked to pay for the lunch of the fellow behind me. That brought a big smile to the attendant. It brought a look of surprise to my husband's face (since we had just ordered from the value menu because we were cash weary). As we drove away, I explained my reasoning. I must say, the feeling I got stayed with me and was well worth the few extra dollars I spent.

I have been on a mission since then to find a way to display intentional kindness on a frequent basis. My hope is that someday, it will just be ingrained...second nature. Most of the time it is just taking the time to greet a stranger, hold a door, or offer a hand with a bag of groceries. Sometimes it is a compliment. A word of reassurance to a struggling parent (in place of the easier judmental behavior) is most often a welcome change for him or her. I recently bought a gift card to send anonymously to an elderly woman who mentioned in passing one day, that coming to the post office is not fun, because it only results in bills, nothing more. When I was out perusing garage sales in Wabasha on May Day, I presented a little boy running a Kool-Aid stand a treat filled May Basket. He was pretty pumped that I bought Kool-Aid AND gave him a treat. I will likely never see this boy again, but I will remember his joyful excitement and smile forever. Something as simple as cutting my hair for Locks of Love brings a euphoria, as well as an important gift to someone I'll never know.

Sometimes the gestures are for family or friends or neighbors, just something simple and unexpected, but the feeling for both the giver and reciever is far from simple! It amazes me how grateful people are when you take a few minutes to drop off an unexpected treat or "treasure perfectly suited to them," even when said treasure was purchased second hand or something you no longer have a use for. Other times it is just a bit of human compassion between two strangers, so that when we move along our daily path, we have brought the world a bit closer together.

I did not write this today to bring attention to what I've done, but rather, to invite my readers to also partake in this rewarding actvity. I attended a presentation once in which it was explained that the euphoria you get from giving without the expectation of a return gesture is comparable to a "runner's high." Since you won't find me running in a marathon any time soon, I'll just keep up with the random acts of kindness to capture my highs.

If you aren't already doing this (I know some of you are), I hope you'll join me. Perhaps our conjoined efforts will make our little corners of the world kinder & gentler. Please feel free to leave a comment on something you've done or any ideas you have or have heard of that are inexpensive ways to reach out and make a difference in someone else's day!

It truly is better to give than receive!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Wallowing In Self Pity---No More

I haven't written much lately. Sometimes even reading is hard to keep up with. Those who follow my blog regularly, probably realize my last 18 months have been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride. Unlike a rollercoaster, however, the downhill ride seems to be steeper than the uphill pull, and even though the ups have been a little more frequent lately, I sometimes let the downs take over. Hang on for this ride--the story is a little longer than usual, but hopefully you will find glimmers of hope in what I share today.

The ups, in no particular order: I have been working hard to manage my depression amidst the dizziness and bumps of this ride. I have restarted my ADD medicine to regain some sort of organization and focus in my daily tasks, as well as the larger tasks that have been hovering over me for a very long time. I am happy to report it is working. Additionally, I have pretty much recovered from my bum shoulder episode, and my back is holding together fairly well, though the headaches and neck are still troubling me. I have started to lose some of the weight that sneaked back on over the holidays and am gearing up for a healthier year ahead. I think I've finally completed grieving, for the most part, the inequities of my former job. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job (but need to find something additional to be fulltime, though I probably have a back-up plan through autumn). I have been able to spend more time with family. I have also spent time working on my family history and and I am starting a blog on that topic, as well as mentoring my nephew in his paternal family history. I am working on planting a small garden. In addition to the most typical root vegetables, plants, and leafy greens, I will be trying my hand at some berries (all sorts), plus a few plum trees. Wish me luck--I am not known for my green thumb, but I'll have help, and I have gardeners on both sides of me. My daughter has landed a 9 month position with benefits. Her boyfriend has another interview today; I'm crossing my fingers. All of my adult children are living at home right now, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the day and my state of mind, and the balance in my checkbook. :-) My mother-in-law was able to sell her house quickly, and while that wasn't all blessing, as I think it cut into the time of grieving, she is now moved and settling into her apartment. I have only one more week until our annual sisters and adult nieces get-together in Rochester: Woo-Hoo! Spring has been glorious, with perennial plants and flowers popping everywhere, pelicans, loons, and other waterfowl gracing the lake in large numbers, and fresh breezes and fresh perspectives floating through the house.

The downs: I thought I was almost through the wild ride, only to find out my husband's three month follow up after a recent health scare didn't come with the results we had hoped for. I am not going to panic, yet. Instead I am going to ask for prayers and kind thoughts as we face a biopsy next Friday. I am still working on paying off all the medical bills from our combined winter of tests and therapies, along with other large unexpected expenses, and now the first half real estate taxes are looming over our heads in three weeks. Having a drained savings account due to many large expenditures over the last two years, while a drastic cut in both of our incomes, I tend to feel a great weight on my shoulders as we face next week. Yet somehow, I also know all will be okay, it always is. We are still grieving the loss of my father-in-law, and selling the 4+ decade family home brought new emotional challenges to the entire family. We will be interring Richard's ashes two weeks from today in his final resting spot at the Minnesota Veterans Cemetery near Little Falls/Camp Ripley. It will be an emotional time, but also a necessary step in our grieving process. I've felt dragged down before, seemingly to the lowest of low depths, but somehow, I always manage to pull through, so I expect this time will be no different. Again, prayers, kind thoughts, and encouragement are extremely welcome.

I have come to realize over my life journey, often through others I've known up close and personal or through close contacts, many people face great challenges in life. While some people seemingly have greater challenges than most, either in quantity or scope, there are often common factors in their successful journeys. Humor, prayers, emotional, physical, and sometimes financial support from family, friends, and even complete strangers, carry sufferers through some of their toughest challenges. Every day I seem to hear of or know someone who is facing a similar challenge, and many that are facing challenges far beyond anything I've experienced. Some have survived and moved forward to help others, while others are just beginning the wild ride. It keeps my woes in perspective to know that no matter how tough the road gets, someone else has been down this same path, or a journey filled with even more and/or larger potholes. Some recent examples:

A local teenager, friend to my children, was in a car accident April 8th on her way to school. Her car rolled over and was submerged in a pond, with only the very back end still visible to passerby, but she was soon found and pulled from the pond by local heroes, her lifelessness restored by a man who had just learned CPR two weeks earlier. There were some very tense days these last two weeks, two steps forward, one back, but she's been "fighting like a girl" (her mom's words), and is scheduled to transfer out of the ICU today. She still has a long road ahead, with possible twists and turns, but she has had many thousands of visits to her Caring Bridge page, and the prayers and support from family, friends, and strangers alike, are lifting her spirits and holding her family up. A whole community and beyond (friends of friends of friends, etc.) have rallied together, organizing a Facebook prayer page, prayer chains, a fund at two banks, a "Fight Like A Girl" t-shirt sale, and a spaghetti supper. What is especially cool about all this support is that most of the efforts have been spearheaded by youth, a segment of our society more commonly frowned upon than respected. I'll leave that topic alone, for now, because that deserves its own special place of honor. It is amazing how the support grows in this small town, but after all, isn't that what community really means?

I just started following the journey of another local woman recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The twist to her story is that she is a quadripalegic, having been paralyzed in a sledding accident when she was a teen. It seems like some people get the challenges piled on, perservering throughout. There are lessons for all of us in the challenges of others, I think. Her Caring Bridge journal is a well articulated account of the daily struggles she faces, filled with humor, prayerfulness, hope, and humility as she forges ahead on this journey. Her words flow beautifully, allowing the reader to literally be there with her. Again, thousands are visiting her page, offering prayers, hope and encouragement, as she goes forward, and a community that has had several tragedies over the last month, is still raring and ready to march in support for this marvelous woman. Another twist to this story is that her cousin was the passerby that resucitated the teenager pulled from the pond. While each family suffers their own tragedies, they and those whom have been touched by them, are offering up prayers and support for each other.

I was recently emailed a video from my supervisor. I am not technically skilled enough to place this video here (I tried once without success, and am sure I've learned nothing new lately that would help in that skill), so I will share a link. The woman shown is a friend of my supervisor's daughter, and in my supervisor's words: "she is absolutely amazing and one of the kindest, most loving women I've ever met." This Missouri woman, faced with a condition at birth that limited the use of her arms and shoulders, recently had a baby, and is shown in her daily child care routine. I was absolutely amazed at the ingenuity and skills she has developed and the fortitude she displays. Diapering, feeding, and bathing a child with her feet puts any challenges I had as a parent into perspective.

I recently heard part of my my supervisor's own life story, surviving a childhood filled with abuse (all forms), taking what she learned from her experiences, using it to be a better parent and help others who have challenges along the way. I must say, she is one of the most kind, caring, and delightful individuals I have ever met, and I am so glad our paths have crossed. We recently heard her story will be shared in a national woman's magazine, and when it is, I will try to follow up here.

Another woman whom I have encountered in my work has recently been interviewed for an upcoming piece in the St. Paul Pioneer Press as part of the events surrounding the Healing Field, which strives to bring awareness to the plight of child abuse and the ongoing prevention efforts in Minnesota, as well as supporting and praying for healing for survivors. She is another woman filled with tremendous fortitude, and abundance of faith, and a seemingly endless supply of sunshine, overcoming a life filled wih tremendous child abuse, using what she has learned and continues to learn, to help others. Again, when that story comes out, I will try to link to it in my blog.

Somehow, when I learn about or meet people as those above, I am compelled to reach for the strength that I know still lies within, and march forward with purpose. I know the support from others will help that strength grow. None of the people above are looking for pity, just prayers and support, and thus I am reminded to stop wallowing in my own self pity when times are tough and start counting my blessings, of which there are many. As I go through this week, I will remember a favorite quote: "When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hello Old Friends...It's Been Awhile

Hello! Gosh it's been awhile. How have you been? I wish I could tell you that my absence from the blogosphere was because I had something very exciting going on in my life, like a trip to an exotic (and warm) destination, but sadly, I've been here all along, waiting out the winter with a gigantic stash of comfort foods. Yup, the only thing that has gone south is my derriere, bogged down with bread pudding, mashed potatoes with butter and gravy, oatmeal-butterscotch cookies, homemade cinnamon rolls...you get the picture.

Along with my butt, life in general has been on the south end for a while, as well. After three months filled with funerals (a young community member, a cousin, my father-in-law, and a family friend, plus a few not as close acquaintances), a few family issues I can't publicly discuss other than to say I was definitely blindsided by them, a health scare for my husband (thankfully, a mass discovered was benign), my own ongoing health issues (migraines, back & neck problems, and now treatment for a rotator cuff issue), a couple extra unemployed adults to feed and house (there are possible job offers pending--TG), and decreased income from job losses/cuts with increased debt from medical bills and major house malfunctions, is it any wonder that depression reared its ugly head in my life? I am now getting that under control and hopefully life will get back on a smooth road once again. The sun is peeking out....whew!!

I guess my resolve to be more consistent in my blogging didn't work out so well, either. Often times, writing is a stress buster for me. Believe me, there were more than a few times that I thought I had an idea worth writing about, only to fizzle out by the time I had a chance. Sometimes I felt the need to write, but much of the need would have been to get negativity off my chest, but who wants to read that? In a similar fashion to not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say, I felt if I had nothing good to write, I wouldn't write anything at all. I am truly wanting to go to blogging and thinking in a positive mind frame, dealing with the negative as it comes, but searching for the good in life.

Bright spots are coming through these days. I can tell spring is around the corner by the increased level of chirping in the trees outside my house. Rather than running to do their business and quickly scampering inside, my dogs have been lingering outside, noses to the ground, as if they can actually smell life under the waist high snow piles and still ice-covered walking paths. This old house (101 years) has been creaking more lately; I imagine it too is starting to thaw from this brutal winter. Believe me, with March knocking on the door, spring could not come soon enough for me. It would be nice if the melting doesn't happen too fast, though, so the flooding is minimized. I worry for all of those who live in areas that may once again be struggling with flooding issues. With my basement actually being inhabited by humans instead of spiders and the occasional mouse, I would hope to not have water problems there, either!

I have been drawn in by the Winter Olympics this year. I love to watch ice dancing and speed skating. The women's and men's half pipes competitions were also spectacular. I imagine the skiing is nerve racking--I wouldn't want to drive in a car as fast as some of those skiers are flying; I can't imagine being on a mountainside racing that fast! I think of all the bumps and falls and how these athletes carry on day after day, compared to my aging body, which can't seem to handle even the smallest falls or bumps. Quite the stamina these athletes have! I have been especially interested in hockey this year, particularly men's hockey. David Backes, a member of the USA men's team (and member of the NHL's St. Louis Blues team) is the son of my husband's cousin. It has been great to see someone from humble roots work tenaciously to achieve personal goals. He is truly an example of a blue collar working class family's hard work and sacrifices to reach for the gold! I was bummed when the first few games were not broadcast on network television (I don't have cable), but was able to catch the games Wednesday and Friday (what an amazing game on Friday). I look forward to Sunday's rematch with Canada. Go team USA!

Time to get up and at 'em. Once again, the weekend will be filled with a myriad of activities, sandwiched between the need to declutter and continue organizing. It's not the North wind you'll be hearing this weekend folks, it's the whirr of my engines as I race to complete the tasks on my never-ending list. It's been said that an idle mind is the devil's playground, so I imagine idle hands must be forced to shovel coals. Happily, I am nowhere near heat, so perhaps this winter is a sign of true paradise. It has been angelically white, if I must say so myself, and my hands would rather be flapping out snow angels than shoveling coals any day!

Have a beautiful weekend and look out for signs of spring--it shouldn't be long now!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Little Things

Sometimes it's the little things that make my day. Such was the case yesterday, and I woke this morning, blanketed in warm thoughts. It started with something as simple as reading one of my favorite blogs, Farside of Fifty's Forgotten Old Photos.

As some of my readers may already be aware, I love to immerse myself in family history. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be my own. For some people, genealogy is getting the most names in a family tree. For me, it is about finding the ways in which people are interconnected and learning about their lives. What are their stories? When I hit the jackpot, I can be giddy for days.

Such is the case with Della. Rather than relay the whole story, I invite you to check out the progress of events from photo publishing to reunification of photo with a family member. Farside and I have married our interests a couple times on her Forgotten Old Photos blog. She brings forth the photos, with as much information as the picture relays, and if there is enough information to do a search, I go digging through ancestry.com records to try to find a history on the subject and his/her family. We've had some successes in searching and she has made connection with some families(though this will be the first photo to be returned, I believe), which brings us both great excitement! Additionally, there are other regular visitors to her blog that supply their expertise on clothing styles, photo types, etc.

Soon, Della's photo will be on its way to her daughter, Virginia, a woman in her late 80s, whom has pretty much lived in the same location all her life, as did her mother. Della's photo, however, has traveled from Illinois to South Dakota to northern Minnesota. The final trip back to Illinois should be a sweet one!

Friday, January 1, 2010

2009: Out On A Sad Note

Our family didn't really ring in the new year as much as we sent out the old year on a sad note. In the bitter winds of December 31st, we stood at attention and listened to the song of the distant lone bugler. The finality of those solemn notes is felt ever more deeply when they are played in honor of one you love. As Taps hauntingly floated through the air, a volcano of emotions erupted: thankfulness and respect for a life well lived and services rendered to God, country, and family; honor for knowing and being part of that life; sadness in knowing his physical presence is gone, yet happiness in knowing a new life with God, absent of pain and suffering, was his eternal gift.

My father-in-law passed away peacefully Tuesday morning, after a valiant struggle with health issues. We were very fortunate to have a final family holiday celebration on Sunday, in which he was very alert and involved, refusing to rest for a single moment, while his wife, children, and grandchildren surrounded him with love. He enjoyed his favorite foods, he joked around a bit, and he shared his gratitude for the day. He rested all day Monday, drifting in and out of sleep, then slowly slipped into God's hands as Tuesday morning broke. We knew his health was failing, but most of us just didn't expect him to pass this week, and didn't quite expect Sunday to be the final goodbye. His final wish was the Sunday gathering, and with that fulfilled, he was ready to be called to Heaven. He was a gentle loving man--a wonderful husband, a dedicated father, a super father-in-law, a doting grandpa, and a supportive brother. We will miss him greatly, but are relieved that he is no longer suffering.

We offered our final goodbyes yesterday at the church, surrounded by a multitude of extended family members, friends, community members, and the Honor Guard of the Richmond American Legion Post, of which he was a past commander for two years. He was a Veteran of the Korean War, serving as a MP in the U.S. Army from 1949-1953. He never talked much of his service time, but his family always knew he was honored to serve. He loved this country deeply and the flag presented to my mother-in-law at services yesterday is already prominently displayed in their home.

As I finish this entry, I would like to share with you the words I wrote in his memory Wednesday morning. My father-in-law was an avid gardener, in soil and in life, and thoughts of him came together in this piece.



Richard The Gardener

The gardener’s tools are set aside,
His hands no longer toil,
Winter’s snow has mounded upon
The fertile garden soil.
Perhaps you’ve tasted produce
From his abundant yield,
But his greatest crop ever
Came not from earthen field.
No, t’was the living seeds he planted,
Starting at his birth,
The relationships he nurtured,
As he walked upon this earth.
Life’s garden rows aren’t always neat,
Weeds pop up all over the place,
But Richard, the gardener, tackled pesky weeds
With dignity and grace.
Whether you entered his garden plot,
As family or as friend,
His love for you was rooted there,
Until the very end.
He came here as a plant from God,
The finest of seeds from ’27,
Now his time of growth here is done,
He’s been harvested and back in Heaven.
As you survey plants in your own garden,
Think of Richard and wear a big smile,
For as sure as the sun rises and sets,
He’s with God and they’re here all the while.
In Loving Memory ♥ Richard Nicholas Thomes ♥ 3-27-1927 to 12-29-2009